05/21/04

這是爸爸剛當上爸爸，頭一天晚上寫的書信式日記．原本想一路寫下去，紀錄祐祐出生成長的點滴．但是淹沒在奶瓶山尿布堆，寫了第一篇後就後繼無力．

May 21, 2004

Dearest Brayden,

This has been a long and exciting day for all three of us. Well, I'm sure it was a long day for you because it is the first and only day you had in your life so far. Of course, by the time you can understand this, you've forgotten not only your first day, but probably the first 4 or 5 years, too. This is why I thought I'll start writing you letters on key moments of your life, so that we can both refresh our memories years from now.

The day started very early. We were told by your Mom's OBGYN Dr. Shen-Sho Tseng to be at the hospital 6:30 am. Your mom woke up early as she usually does during the pregnancy, and was already up and about since 4:00 am. I swear that I set the alarm clock, but it didn't make a sound at all. Finally your mom had to come back to the bedroom to wake me. As you can imagine, she wasn't very happy.

So, I rushed through the daily routines, had a hasty breakfast, and drove your Mom to Shady Grove Adventist Hospital. Grandma Kuo, who flew in from Taiwan a week ago, stayed home to prepare meals for later. We got to the hospital uneventfully, and spent the next 2 hours doing admissions paperwork, blood test, and just plain waiting.

At the waiting room, we came across another Chinese couple there to have their baby. Both of us were expecting our first, both babies are boys, and we both have Dr. Tseng. Your Mom wasn't too happy with the idea that the doctor needs to tend to other patients, but I guess that's just how the medical system works.

Finally, our nurse Julie Thomas came over and led us to Labor/Delivery Room 15, the place you'll come to the world hours later. She set your Mom up with the monitors and asked a lot of questions about the pregnancy and health history. Another nurse came in later and set up the IV on your Mom. The IV fluid stand became your Mom's closest companion for pretty much the rest of the day.

It was about 9:30 am when your Mom got started on Pitocin drip. She was already dilated 5 cm at that time, and everyone was impressed. We all thought this delivery will be short and sweet. Dilation proceeded fairly well for the next hour. However, by the time she reached 7 cm or so, she was feeling a lot of pain. So, the nurse arranged for epidural anesthesia and she felt far less painful almost right afterward. I gotta admit that the injection itself was a bit scary. Poking needles into people's backbones isn't what I think I can do for a living.

Around noon, Nurse Julie turned down the lights and told your Mom to get some rest. I went for a pit stop and got coffee and a sandwich for lunch. Your Mom didn't manage to sleep, but I guess the rest helped. In the meanwhile, she kept dilating and when examined at around 1:00 pm, she was ready.

Then came the hardest part. Despite almost 2 hours of hard pushing, you almost didn't budge at all. The doctor said your head was at the wrong angle, and simply too big for your Mom. She was getting really exhausted, so the doctor decided to use tools to assist. Apparently, there is some danger involved here, and she would need a C-section if tools still won't get you out. It got quite exciting, as a doctor's assistant and several other nurses were called in to help. I guess they were preparing to rush you both to the operating room if things don't go well. I was really getting worried, and I could only hope nothing wrong would happen to either of you.

With everyone ready, the doctor attached a vacuum device to your head and started pulling while your Mom gave one last push. It worked. Your head came through beautifully. It was big alright, and you've already grown a full inch of hair. The doctor sucked fluids out of your mouth while the rest of your body was still inside your Mom, and you started making noises right there. With another push, your whole body came out and, at 2:42 pm today, you were born.

I watched the whole thing at a vantage point right beside the bed while holding your Mom's right leg in position. It was messy, bloody, smelly, but I'd never forget when I first saw you. Well, I actually saw the back of your head first because you came out face-down. I was too tense to be overwhelmed with joy and such, but I did have enough control over myself to not have fainted nor thrown-up. I even cut your umbilicals, though it took me two scissor cuts. Sorry if I hurt you that way, buddy.

Nurse Julie took you and started her routines. You were given a quick inspection and cleaned. I went over and counted your fingers and toes with her. Everything was in the right place. That's all I can ask for, really. You were weighed and measured. The nurses all thought you were a big one.

From that point on, you must have already figured out yourself that I got busy with the cameras. While I was taping you, your Mom was being stitched up. That's not something we want to get on tape anyway, so I lavished all my attention on you.

After your Mom had some time to rest, the nurse briefed her about breastfeeding and we tried for the first time. It took you just 5 seconds to figure out what it was about and started sucking strongly. I think this takes after me. From what I was told, I was a hungry baby, too.

The rest of the day went by as we go through the process. You were wheeled to the infant room and given a more thorough exam. One thing special about you that I noticed right away is you didn't cry when all the other babies were. You protested in no-uncertain terms when the exam became uncomfortable, but you remained calm and quiet when all your roomies were out there making noise. Hey, it would be cool if you stayed that way.

I went home for a quick dinner and took Grandma to the hospital. That's when she got to see you for the first time. She thought your nose looked like your Mom, but Mom herself disagreed and thought it looked like mine. As for me, I'm sure you got my forehead. The rest will undoubtedly be argued upon for years to come.

Dad